life, wheely life

it was just yesterday my parents watch my first steps.
today, i'm about to walk away for good.

it was just yesterday i dared myself to face my fear and had a room on my own.
today, i should start thinking what stuffs will i pack.

it was just yesterday i got my mom cleaning my room.
today, i'm preparing to live on my own.

it was just yesterday when i made my mind and decided that i'll enter 78 high.
today, i've graduated.

it was just yesterday i dreamt about being an astronot, or detective, or a rockstar, hah, silly baby dreams.
today, i'm on my way to fulfil my dream, becoming an engineer.

it was just yesterday i introduced myself shyly to my new friends-to-be.
today, i'm saying good bye and good luck to my friends-for-ever.

what's going on?
oh, it's just simply because

yesterday, i was a child. a chubby silly naive child.
today, i have to be an adult. though i still have that chubby silly naive child inside me, i must step out and grow up.
to become an adult.
fuck.

being a child is very delighting.
you dont have to clean your room.
you dont have to make your own feast.
you dont have to take your own decision.
all you gotta do is play.
and have fun.
spread laughter.
enjoy yourself.
find some new toys.
and share the whole day wandering around with your best friends.

i dont mind being an adult at all.
i love being on my own, standing on my own two feet.
it's just,
being an adult requires a LOT of goodbyes.
goodbye to my high school.
goodbye to my neighborhood.
goodbye to my 17-years-together room.
goodbye to my comfort zone.
goodbye to my city.
goodbye to my best friends.
goodbye to my parents.
these farewells i cant stand.

PS :
to my parents. you know how i cant stand having you around the house all day. i'll sneak out of the house because of all the boredom i have to confront if we have to spent 24 hours together. i definitely not the sweetest child in the world who always tell you guys that i love you. i have my own way to say i love you, and by that i mean go out there to the university i always dream about and pursue my dream. as your only child, i promise you i'll go back home with a great pack of sunshine in my hand, telling you that i've made it, i've become a successful person. now please walk me out and whisper a couraging pray, then say good bye and wish me luck.

"it's never a goodbye, it's just a see-you-later"

no one has any idea how much i desire to be Peterpan